SearchCategory : The Loopy Linguist19th July 2006 : The Percy Bysshe Shelley of SpamSo, I was checking my 'bulk' folder this evening -- making sure none of your treasured comments happened to get routed to the slush pile -- when a message header caught my eye:
You dream of rivers of sperm, of penis enormous and firm.
Now, first of all… more » Categories: The Loopy Linguist 17th July 2006 : Bingo Night with People Who Don't Quite Grasp the ConceptTHE SCENE: Your local retirement complex, on any given Tuesday evening.
"I-19."
"G-53."
"B-2."
"BIG! I spelled B-I-G!"
"It's BINGO, Mrs. Brown. Not BIG. Keep playing. O-70."
"GOBI! GOBI over here!"
"I'm sorry, no."
"It's a desert! I'm not making… more » Categories: The Loopy Linguist 30th June 2006 : Those $@!%ing Meetings!I've mentioned a few of the quirks of my new office building. Here's another:
Our building has seven floors. Each of those floors boasts a conference room. To distinguish the rooms from each other, the higher-ups have seen fit to assign each room a name… more » 26th June 2006 : How I Feel About... OrthodontistsOrthodontists are BAD because they're the people who give you braces. And generally speaking, people who shove bits of metal into your mouth or connect parts of your face together with rubber bands are
to be avoided. With extreme prejudice.
Orthodontist… more » Categories: The Loopy Linguist 31st May 2006 : Speed-Dating Diaries: The Jolly Green GiantPredate Mingle:
Boy, there are a lot of singles here. I had no idea there'd be this many other bachelors. Sure, I expected some of these guys to show up -- Count Chocula hasn't had a date in centuries. Chef Boyardee's never done well with the ladies, an… more » Categories: The Loopy Linguist |
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